First Edition - Mar' 09

I am Viji, software professional; yeah, still managing to be one in these troubled times :)
And this is my first attempt at writing a blog.

This is an attempt to reflect my thoughts on varied topics; to use this space as a platform to meet quality people and have meaningful discussions.

"Mirare" is the latin origin of the word "Mirror". As this space reflects my personality, so I have choosen this name. And why Latin?, as they say, just to be "different".

As I prefer variety during a read, this blog reflecting my interest; will have a format of a mini magazine, having four sections; "The Main Story", "Humor Section", "Food for thought" and "The Last Word".

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The Main Story: Lakshya – An unique movie watching experience

Few months back I was watching the Hindi movie "Lakshya" on Television. Yes the one which has Krithik and Preity Zinta as protagonist. This movie shows the growth of the hero from a confused young guy to a focused man in life with the background as Kargil War.

It is one of my favourite movies & so I was watching it all over again. Some time along the movie my neighbour's kids' Chinnu [studying in 2nd grade] and her brother Munna [studying in 7th grade] joined me in watching the movie.

Soon as expected I had to answer slew of questions getting shot from them, intervene numerous discussions happening among them selves and give explanations. I could hardly watch a scene peacefully; you know how it is to watch a movie with kids.

As the movie proceeded I had to explain about Kargil war and Indo-Pak relationships, how Pakistan army was involved in this attack and so on.
And during the discussion Munna all of a sudden made a blatant statement "All Muslims are like this only, we should be careful of them". I was choked with shock at his comment and my first reaction was to shout at him to shut up, but in a split second I reminded myself that he is still a kid and calmed myself down.
His comment was followed by Chinnu explaining that her brother was right. Infact, they were advising me to be careful of "such" people.

I understood that these biases were deeply ingrained in their minds and no explanation from my side would help. So I sat through the movie uncomfortably, listening to their disturbing conversations.

When the movie got over and titles were coming up, I insisted that these kids read through the titles. The director's name said "Farhan Akhtar". I read the name loudly and said yes he is a MUSLIM. Both the kids looked at me with a "REALLY ?" expression on their faces. Ofcourse after that, I did give them a lecture about how such biases are wrong and they should treat all their friends the same way irrespective of their religion, caste, or what ever.

But the more worrying thought is that how these young kids get into such mindsets. It could be the influence of what they see/hear in TV, internet etc, but don't kids pick up most of their habits/behavior from their own elders?

Every time there are some security issues like bomb blast in the country, I have seen the so called "educated" people make sweeping generalization and outrageous comments on entire communities as such. They don’t even bother to see if kids are around or not. How can the educated parents/elders, be so biased, be insensitive to this extent, and be so out of touch with ground realities.

If the so called "Islamic Terrorism" is growing dangeroulsy, isn't "Hindu Fanatism" not growning in India? Haven't we heard/seen "state programmed terrorism/riots" in some states of India? Isn't is spreading to other states too?

Isn't both form of terrorism equally dangerous and FATAL to India as a country, to India as an idea? Can we for once be honest with ourselves irrespectvive of our communties, religion, and get ourselves one round of reality check done?

That might do a lot of good, for us, for our kids and for our country.

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Humor Section: Small story of small letters

This incident happened when we were filling up our I semester Exam application forms of our graduation course.
Those were the days when the forms with "boxes" for each letter had just come out for, so we had to fill in one letter per box.

Me and my friend [Sushma] were filling up the form and when we came to the "address" section, we found that given boxes were not enough to fill in the entire address.

Being the studious types, we diligently went to office and enquired with clerk as to what can be done. [ok don't laugh, that’s not the joke, see what the clerk replied].

Clerk who was completely involved with his work simply replied "write in small letters, space will be enough".

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Food For Thought: Game of Bow and Arrow

Relationship between parents and kids are like Bow and Arrow. Unless bow releases, lets-go the arrow, the arrow will never reach its destination.
Nevertheless, it is essential that before leaving, the right direction and strength should be given by bow, so that arrow reaches its right destination at right time.

I guess this is meaning of a Hindi poem [whose name I have forgotten] which describes how important it is for the parents to let go their kids; guide them with out being possessive about them.

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The Last Word: The Last Name Funda

I have always wondered right from my school days as to why I have one only "Initials" in my name, that of my father's name. And why is my mother's name not included in my name. Have even asked my dad about this and the answer I got was so typical "It has always been the case, it’s been followed for so many years now".

But that did not answer my question nor did the curiosity die. As I grew up, these questions have always pondered me. We equate everything in nature to mother; Land, Water, River, Fire, Earth, Soil, Country, the list goes on. Mother is given so much respect that she is positioned just next to God and nothing less than that.

That being the case, why shouldn’t a mother have her name attached to her own kid's name, why do we attach only father's name. Not just father's name, people even attach caste, place of birth, as their last names, but no, not their mother's name. Strange isn't it?

I don’t know what the so called "tradition" has been, I don’t care what the reasons have been for this kind of tradition, I never did and never will understand such practices. Neither do I care about the psychological, political or legal reasons of last names.

All that I know is, when I am a mother, I will have “last word” on this subject. My child will have two "Initials", "V" and "*", [ok, or rather "*" and "V"], and yes "The Star" is yet to be identified :)

If I don’t do this, then I too will be giving some absurd explanation of last names to my kid, just like my dad did, which I myself don’t understand.

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9 comments:

Mrudula said...

Interesting Read, Viji, keep it up.

About the terrorism, I think it is wrong to label the terrorist by their religions or any such general group. It is another form of generalisation that you have talked against. Terrorists are terrorists whatever may their religion be.

About the names, in ancient times, it was always obvious who the mother of the child is. But by appending father's name, the mother could depend on the father to help bring up that child. This is just one hypothesis. There are many.

The Mirare said...

Thanks Mrudula for your comments and I completely agree with you. I dont think terrorists have anything to do with any religion at all. And for the last names, I have done some read/research on these things. Yes one of the reason is to get commitment from father. There has been other political reasons as well for last names. But I guess, its high time all these practices change.

Anees said...

This is a wonderful BLOG! Keep it up!
You can go for writing a wonderful book and published. I am serious about it.

Let me know if you require any help for the same.

Vidya Vaidyanathan said...

hi Guys,
this is all so interesting to read. Hey mrudu, I did not know the funda you have mentioned for the last name being patriarchal. I now wonder, why the women object. I think any man with a spine should object first, as he would deem it as insult that such measures are taken to remind one of responsibility such as parentage. But one second thoughts, we are not in an ideal world.
As i was mentioning to Viji earlier, as a child, it never occurred to me why I had my dad's name tailgated. Mom and Dad were never two different people to me.
Is there such a reasoning for the wife getting the husband's last name ?

Vidya Vaidyanathan said...

Reading about the movie Lakshya makes me quite nostalgic. I am going to say something that is a little bit of a diversion from the topic. It is also an important movie as I think the hindi movie industry turned a corner and for the better.
I found Lakshya wonderful as it was life-like and the ending though positive, wasn't out of a fairy tale. The movie tells the truth about the average life of today's youth, but also subtly inspires one unlike leaving one lost like in the movie - RDB. The screenplay is wonderful as so much is told without any specific dialouge. Movies as such should be made more often, as we all know the power of media is immense and these bring solace to the disillusioned youth of any time. Kudos to the team.
Viji, if you get a chance, do watch "Mumbai meri Jaan". The incident you have portrayed about people of particular religions being associated with terrorism has been brought out very well. It shows the unwanted prejudices we develop due to generalizations and then the lessons we learn as we evolve

Vidya Vaidyanathan said...

The quote you mentioned is absolutely wonderful and I think in our Indian societies more than 90% children are victim to this possessiveness.
A very common observation in the Indian mindset is that we are unable to understand that "differing in opinion" does not mean disrespect. To respect an individual is to also respect the person's opinion and views too. As individuals each person is entitled to their opinions which are predominantly influenced by upbringing and exposure.
I say this here, as parents are unable to digest the fact that their child "need not agree with them". Letting go also means letting the child think and express. This also brings me to a common topic of discussion, which is can two strong people co-exist?
I would like to hear your thoughts

Preeti said...

A very unique way of organizing ur blog Viji, blog with variety :)

Will look forward for more interesting posts

jaya gupta said...

Hi Viji....

Congrats to you for a very nice blog.

An old sage "The journey of thousand miles starts with a single step". Now that you have taken your first step to blogging I am sure many more steps will follow and we will see a great and admired blogger." Good Luck!

sagarkatdare said...

Hey Viji,
That was really a nice blog. (I liked this funda of mini-magazine).
Regarding terrorism:
Your thoughts are indeed correct that terrorism should not be associated with a religion. Bullet doesn't know if a person is Hindu/Muslim/Christian..But over the years terrorism and islamic extremism have been so juxtaposed that people tend to associate them with each other without a reason..It's from out side to change this situation and not to spread this generalization..good 1

Regarding last name funda:
Over the ages the society has been male-dominated and the tradition of having last name just got carried on(I knw most of the ppl reading this would be cursing me for dat, but dats a fact right?)..I would like to add a few more info here..Having a last name as father's name is nt a tradition everywhere;it's mostly observed in southern part of india..in Northern part people have 'surname' as last name and father's name is not dat imp (U can take my own xample..my name is Sagar Katdare..so dad's name doesn't as such appear..my mom's name Neelam Katdare, sis' name Sheetal Katdare n so on)..also some others like 'Khan', 'Kumar', 'Sharma' etc etc..so don't be angry over 'why male parent is gettin better tr8ment' :) :)
and yeah it's actually a person's choice to have dad's or mom's name in his full name..to quote an example, famous bollywood director sanjay LEELA bhansali (Devdad fame) puts his mother's name..so it's indeed a personal choice !! Even I would love to add my mom's name as i'm more attached to her..but now that would create a problem, as on all the records my 'full name' contains dad's name as a 'middle name'..so govt docs will create a huge mess....so let it be.. :)

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